Reader, I Married Him!

 

Three weeks ago, March 15th, James Rendall Prior (Skip) and I tied the knot. 

After years of single life, this was a pretty big deal for me...

 and a very happy day for us!

Skip never blinked, but he did joke a lot! Haha!

We had the support of some of my closest family and two very good friends.

Mom, Lisa Aramouni, Bride and Groom, Our Minister, Linda McLeod, Roger Aramouni

My Mom is the one who introduced us!

With my Sister, Lisa. 

A gorgeous day to say "I do."

Rings and Flowers

One and Onlies

A nice lunch at Pier 22 in Bradenton.

"Just Beachy" cake from Edible Elegance.

Doing this together...

Wow, we really did it!

Back home to the Prior Patch!

With thanks to all our family and friends 

and to the literary heroines who have been my trustworthy companions 

during many days and many nights. 

Charlotte Bronte, author of Jane Eyre

Exit Process

Outside of Al Ain, UAE

It has been a long time since I've written anything...

Well, last year I had a really tough time emotionally (for various reasons) and wasn't even sure what to say anymore, so I had kind of given up commenting on my situation here in Dubai. I've also mostly given up talking about the American political situation, as it has gotten so depressing, insane and scary. Since I haven't been able to do much from here, it is just waiting and watching and trying to stay informed with real news. Mueller Report anyone?

Hopefully, once I am home, I can find some ways to take constructive action!

And that is my big news! After almost eight years, I am finally leaving the Middle East for good this time. July 4th (of all days) is my "Independence Day!" We are still going to be working, but it's the last day of school. And then I will be free! Funny enough, as excited as I am, I'm finding that as difficult as it was to come here, it is even more difficult to leave. When I came it was with a sense of excitement and embracing the unknown, now I am leaving with a big question as to what has been accomplished along with so many mixed emotions. Nevertheless, I have no regrets about making this move, as it really has been the adventure of a lifetime and I have met so many wonderful people along the way.

Also, there are camels. 

But it is definitely time to come home!

The problem for me is that at times it feels excruciating to let go of my life here. This proves to me again, if I ever had any doubts, that I would never have made it as a Bedouin. To have the ability to pack up and go, cyclically and predictably, without carrying a lot of baggage, no, I would have died.

                                                         From Thesiger's Journeys

Now that I am repatriating, there won't be the coming back and forth anymore and always feeling like I am living two separate lives. Although I have to say, going home brings on sensations of near panic that my days of travel are over, and it is true, I may never make it back to Nepal or Bali or even the South of France. Talk about the fear of missing out!

View from Kopan Monastery, Nepal 2015

                                                      Ubud, Bali in February 2018

La Roane in the South of France

It feels like I am giving up a lot, by leaving. Not to mention packing up my apartment. This has proved to be quite a challenge for me. Although I have been studying my Marie Kondo, the dilemma is that practically everything I have acquired since I came here "sparks joy" in me.  So it just doesn't seem to be working. I told myself I wouldn't acquire things, but I did. Now it's sorting, packing, giving away, selling, and slowly freeing myself to travel back. I could use some help, but it seems I'm really on my own in this. There is also an incredible amount of bureaucratic red tape (banking, shutting off the utilities, visa cancellations, etc.) to get through in order to exit this place, which I am not at all sure how to accomplish. Yes, I am doing a lot of whining too, just haven't been doing much of it out loud. A lot of my life here has been like that. Everything is a private joke with myself. Not a sustainable way to live, take it from me!

Packing Up Apartment 

The truth is, a lot of people living here complain of the sense of isolation and loneliness. I will not miss these feelings and I will be forever grateful for the connections I have been able to make, especially with the 5 rhythms tribe in Dubai and the women I met in Sports City. When I was wondering how I would survive, I found some real community. Thank God for that!

My job, I had to let it go. I did what I could and I hope I did some good. I know I grew, in spite of myself. I will miss the kids but I have high hopes for all of them. They are amazing and way more resilient and adaptable to change than I could ever hope to be.

At any rate, I am bringing home as little baggage as I can, but I know what comes with me will need to be dealt with...

I think I found him 
(but can I say I am a little scared?)

Going forward, you will find me here: 

at the Prior Patch, in Bradenton, Florida! 

Brand New Chapter - Chris and Skip - 2019

I just need to remember to breathe!  

Bye, bye Dubai! 

xoxo, Chris

IB Learner Profile

Forgiveness

"If I have harmed anyone in any way either knowingly or unknowingly through my own confusions, I ask their forgiveness. If anyone has harmed me in any way either knowingly or unknowingly through their own confusions, I forgive them. And if there is a situation I am not yet ready to forgive, I forgive myself for that. For all the ways that I harm myself, negate, doubt, belittle myself, judge or be unkind to myself through my own confusions, I forgive myself."

Let There Be Peace - Lemn Sissay

Let There Be Peace 

By Lemn Sissay

Let there be peace

So frowns fly away like albatross 

And skeletons foxtrot from cupboards, 

So war correspondents become travel show presenters

And magpies bring back lost property, 

Children, engagement rings, broken things.

Let there be peace 

So storms can go out to sea to be 

Angry and return to me calm, 

So the broken can rise up and dance in the hospitals. 

Let the aged Ethiopian man in the grey block of flats 

Peer through his window and see Addis before him, 

So his thrilled outstretched arms become frames 

For his dreams.

Let there be peace 

Let tears evaporate to form clouds, cleanse themselves 

And fall into reservoirs of drinking water. 

Let harsh memories burst into fireworks that melt 

In the dark pupils of a child’s eyes 

And disappear like shoals of silver darting fish, 

And let the waves reach the shore with a 

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Keeping Quiet - Pablo Neruda

Now we will count to twelve
and we will all keep still.

For once on the face of the earth,
let’s not speak in any language;
let’s stop for one second,
and not move our arms so much.

It would be an exotic moment
without rush, without engines;
we would all be together
in a sudden strangeness.

Fisherman in the cold sea
would not harm whales
and the man gathering salt
would look at his hurt hands.

Those who prepare green wars,
wars with gas, wars with fire,
victories with no survivors,
would put on clean clothes
and walk about with their brothers
in the shade, doing nothing.

What I want should not be confused
with total inactivity.
Life is what it is about;
I want no truck with death.

If we were not so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving,
and for once could do nothing,
perhaps a huge silence
might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves
and of threatening ourselves with death.
Perhaps the earth can teach us
as when everything seems dead
and later proves to be alive.

Now I’ll count up to twelve
and you keep quiet and I will go.

                                  by Pablo Neruda

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12"

In the End, Love Always Trumps Hate (If it hasn't happened yet, it's not the end!)

So today I had lunch at a beautiful hotel in Dubai with five other librarians (all women at my table). Two of us were transplanted Americans, one Canadian, a lovely Egyptian mother of two, a woman from India and another Arabic librarian slightly older than me that asked me with a bemused expression if I could explain DT's hairstyle to her. I couldn't do it and we both started laughing. Today I really felt how much more powerful the laughter we shared together was than the bullying and posturing of the POTUS... The training on our database was a bit dry and technical, but I felt SO MUCH love and connection when we all started laughing about the dumpster and talking about the marches that have been going on around the world. Watching the livestreaming from DC yesterday, Gloria Steinem's speech also made me laugh and I LOVED Madonna's F.U. to the people who say it's not making any difference! I felt so much gratitude for being born in a country where women of all ages, colors and beliefs can express themselves to the fullest and I do not want to see us go backwards into some dystopian dark age conjured up by a delusional pack of kleptomaniacs led by a Cheeto colored conman.

Women's Marches Around the World

Women of the world will not be silenced!

We must continue to fight for human rights and to share love and laughter while we do it!

“All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.” 
― Julian of Norwich

Party Girl

 How can I help you?

When I first started writing this post, it was a few days before the election and I was expecting that the chaos and devastation would all be behind us soon. Now New Year's is already past and we are into 2017, so it seems I am always a few days late with celebrating and looking forward. As things have been grimly moving ahead with the so called "president elect" I have felt quite a bit of despair about the state of things and especially about the status of information in this new environment. I don't expect to be able to do much in the political sphere, nor do I desire to do so, but at least I can make a stand for finding true and valid information, checking sources, and using critical thinking skills! This is a major part of the job of a school librarian, as I understand it.

As you can see, I needed a laugh! This brought me back to Party Girl, which was made back in 1995, when many libraries were still using card catalogs and automation was only beginning to take hold in libraries, before social media, the same year that DT wrote off $900 million on his tax returns, and well before the events of 9/11 stole the innocence in NYC and altered so many things...

So if you have an hour and a half to spare and you haven't seen it before this movie is light enough to take away any sense of doom and gloom that may have carried over from 2016. Just click on the link below to watch the youTube version of Parker Posey in Party Girl!

   

Party Girl Parker Posey

Sending out best wishes for a very happy 2017 and may we all find ways to be strong and live in the light! 

The Rhinoceros

A Time for Refusal

It has been only three weeks since the results came in and the world has changed. I still think there must be a way to stop this rhinoceros from taking over! Or maybe it is too late... resistance takes so much energy...

I want to go back to my old life where I had the luxury of peacefully trying to mind my own business, but this is not business as usual, this is not normal, look at the cabinet picks, I am no less frightened, only more so, and I find it very difficult to resist the urge to go completely numb. On the other hand, we have to go on living!

(Which I find challenging even under the best of circumstances.)

So if thinking about this stuff is too depressing, I understand. But I want to be aware, regardless. How much I can do personally and hold down a fairly demanding job, while I try to keep body and mind together, I don't know. But this next article is yet another that shows how these fascists take over!

Prepare for Regime Change, Not Policy Change

So awareness is the first step and that's why I keep posting. There are a lot of people who are offended all of a sudden, at people who dare to disrespect an incoming president... but as I was reminded earlier today, respect has to be earned.

No, Trump, We Can't All Just Get Along

Speak truth to power!

Don't accept the unacceptable.

No justice, no peace.














.

The Political is Personal

Everybody pretty much knows how I feel about this election already. And I can't promise not to post again before the end on Tuesday, because I care too much about it, and it's making me a little crazy, I admit. The information is out there, although it's becoming harder and harder to get at the truth these days. To my loved ones who are still leaning towards DT, I pray that you reconsider. Don't be played. The man is a fraud and a dangerous one. There is so much at stake here for our country and the rest of the world. Personally, because of the things he has said and the accusations that have been made against him, I've had to revisit a lot of pain and fear related to past assaults in my own life that I thought were healed. But what I've realized from this whole national ordeal is that it never totally goes away, but you have to move on. Move towards the light!

When we all wake up next Wednesday, the election is going to be over, and I hope I will be able to breathe again. Or I may need to take a day off to stay home and cry.

This weekend, I am going to be dancing, staying away from the internet, and getting out of my head for awhile. Thanks to Gabrielle Roth, New Yorker extraordinaire, free spirit, and wise shaman, who created a beautiful dance meditation for someone like me, which has miraculously been imported to Dubai by some amazing people here. It is a way to process pain and get to the joy underneath it all. Also, it is a way to keep from objectifying our precious human bodies and inhabiting them instead. Females are not rated here on a 1-10 scale. Form is not required, just surrender. Males can be themselves too, powerful or maybe even vulnerable. Real no matter what. I could say more about it, but I need to get moving!

"Do you have the discipline to be a free spirit?"

Gabrielle Roth

Sending love and light to everyone in the USA and elsewhere who care to read this post!!!

Moving to Dubai Part 2

Well, I wrote the blog entry a couple of months ago about moving to Dubai, but just got around to posting it.  Knowing it wasn't perfect I hesitated. So yes, I am still moving and I will start my new job on August 14th.

Today I am torn up about all the violence going on in the US and around the world and my powerlessness to do much about it. I can spout my opinions on Facebook, although seriously, I know it doesn't do much good.

Anyway, there was a local incident last week that hit close to home for me. An Emirati man was arrested and held by the police in Avon, Ohio:

Ohio Incident is a Moment for Reflection

Avon is where my father spent the last few years of his life in the home of Carmen and Daniel Ivan, loving caregivers who immigrated from Romania to Northern Ohio where both my brothers live, not more than 15 minutes from the Fairfield Inn where this incident took place.

Dad watching TV at Carmen and Daniel Ivan's 

Yes, it was all a terrible misunderstanding and the police offered an apology. Because of the hotel clerk's unfamiliarity with the traditional dress of the UAE, she flipped out and assumed he must be involved with ISIS and called the police. They rushed in and threw him to the ground, even though he didn't pose any immediate threat. It was a huge mistake and thank God, it got sorted out. But it could have gone another way. 

On all sides, after it was over, people called for moderation, understanding, tolerance and even forgiveness, which did some good in restoring the dignity of the Emirati who was in the Cleveland area for treatment of a heart condition. The police in Avon had the decency to be embarrassed and to recognize their mistake right away, offering a formal apology.

Violence did not break out.

Living in Abu Dhabi as I have been for the last several years, I have come to be very familiar with the local dress and comfortable with the peaceful and overwhelmingly gracious Muslim neighbors I have gotten to know. The only time I feel in danger here is when I get behind the wheel of my car and venture out, as the driving is notoriously treacherous, although the government is making efforts to crack down on reckless drivers who exceed the speed limit.

My point in writing all this is to marvel a little bit at the way my worlds are colliding right now. I might be just as frightened by a man in a white kandura as the clerk at the Fairfield Inn, if I had never left northern Ohio, and if all I knew of the Middle East was the media representation of ISIS and footage of bombings and war in other parts of this region. I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to get to know this part of the world, as the UAE truly is a safe and tolerant place to live.  

The fear of otherness is real and natural, and maybe more at cause in violence than fundamental racism. It's all in our perception of who and what is a threat. 

Unfortunately the terrorists use this to their advantage. And also unfortunately,  there are some police who don't seem to know restraint in a situation they mistakenly perceive to be dangerous.   And of course, most unfortunately, there is a politician in the US right now who incites fear of otherness for his own selfish ends, to garner support for his particular brand of xenophobia and egotistical need for power and applause. I find that most dangerous because we are so in need of peacemakers right now, but peace doesn't necessarily have the same toxic appeal as the contact high that comes from completely undisciplined expressions of  aggression. And then there is the aftermath of grief and shock when violence explodes and nobody knows quite how to stop it from happening again... ad infinitum.

So this so called politician, this poser who says he wants to be president, is coming to my hometown in a couple of weeks. Cleveland is ready, but I wish the Republicans could have found a more worthy candidate to present. I'll be watching the trainwreck from afar! The truth is I can't tear myself away.

My hometown

At any rate, I hate offending people with my opinions, so if I have offended anyone who took the trouble to read this, please know that it is all just my opinion, and truly my fervent wish is that we all grow in understanding, love and tolerance for one another.  America is already great, but that would make it even greater! 

In the meantime, wish me well in this upcoming move, which I think is going to be quite a new chapter to my adventure over here in the UAE, my home away from home that I have come to love in spite of myself.

My friend, Ami and I checking out the Souq at Dubai Creek

  

Moving to Dubai Inshallah

Burj Khalifa, Dubai

In August I'll be moving to Dubai to take a new job at an International School there. Both sad to be leaving Abu Dhabi, and excited by this new opportunity. Even though it is only about an hour and a half up the road, I know my life is going to change a lot.

Why do I say, "Inshallah?" Because I have learned never to count on anything definitively over here, and that if it is "God's Will" it will happen, and if it doesn't happen, it wasn't God's Will.

Most likely, it is going to happen, although sometimes I still get the urge to run from the UAE. Sometimes I just want to go home! For good. But then the opportunities open up over here, and I can't resist seeing where it will lead. If I had known how difficult it would be at times, living here, would I have come over in the first place?

I'll never know the answer to that question, as I got the initial teaching job in May 2011, and haven't looked back. Abu Dhabi has been so good to me, in so many ways, and I finally know my way around pretty well. Mostly I am going to miss seeing my friends on a weekly basis and our Saturday night meditation. I won't be that far away so hopefully I can come back and forth some weekends. And I hope I have a bit of space in my new apartment for visitors!

Abu Dhabi Party People

A special note to any of my friends/family in the USA who may read this post... please know that your support is more appreciated and needed than ever. It is my connection to you that makes me strong enough to make this change and to continue this journey. If I don't always know how to express this, I am saying it now! I love you all!

So anyway, change, bring it on!







Not Knowing

"If I keep a green bough in my heart the singing bird will come."
- Chinese proverb

Yellow bird that lives on the patio of my apartment building. 

Not Knowing

Sometimes you have to leave

what you think you know

behind.

No one ever really wants to do this.

Knowing things

thinking we know things

can be very comforting.

All day, soul whispers

what I need to know.

I don't hear her

until I lay aside

cherished beliefs and assumptions

until I dare to be with the not-knowing.

And then. . . .

Well, that's the risky part, isn't it?

There is no telling

what living an ensouled life

might ask of us.

~Oriah"Mountain Dreamer" House (c) 2016

10 Great Things About My Mother

Captain Brian's Seafood, Sarasota, Florida

10 Great Things about my Mother:

Steadfastly refuses to use Social Media, I can respect that!

Always willing to talk, whenever I call.

Shares her practical wisdom which is correct most every time!

Has always supported me in all my wild adventures.

Everybody who knows my mom tells me how much they love my Mom!

She spent her life for her children and

Then she took pains to make a life of her own when we were all grown up.

She shows me how to share unconditional love in her relationship with Bobby.

She never forgets any of our goofy family inside jokes and traditions.

She can be really tough if she needs to be!

But she is quick to forgive.

She lives near the beach now and is fun to go to the movies with!

She brought me to my first 12 step meeting when I was 16; even though I wasn’t ready
at the time, it planted the seed.

She took really good care of Trixie for me this fall and winter, which wasn’t easy for her…

And she gathers up all my mail in the US and saves it for when I come home!

(Okay, that was 15, but of course I could go on and on…)

Love you Mom!

Mom, Mandy, Me, Lisa

With Aunt Tina, Summer 2014

Bobby and Mom at Bradenton Beach