Oh Christmas!

Christmas Tree at the Emirates Palace

This is not the Christmas of my dreams,

but if I don't try to make it that,
I have so much to be grateful for...
my friends in Abu Dhabi who are present...
my faithful and funny dog,
Rose's homemade pumpkin pie today
and Karen's hospitality...
moving in with Liz tomorrow, for a little while.

Yet, leaving my apartment makes me
tired as hell and
not being settled gets me down.
Can't decide if this timing is a classic case of self-sabotage
or "life on life's terms."
Not a good time to try to figure it out.

Taking Anne Lamott's sage advice this year!
Not making any major decisions until Christmas
is over...
and I am going to drag it out as long as I can!

Since I worked today
it didn't feel much like Christmas,
although people here are kind and
make a point of acknowledging the day
even if they don't celebrate themselves.

I love Christmas
but I never seem to handle it very well.

Not wanting material things
but can't seem to let go of what I have
very easily.
Clinging causes suffering, I know.
Gave a few things away to my neighbors tonight
and hopefully will give away some more...

forgiving myself for my tight grip
and sending out as much love as I can.

Merry Christmas!