Exit Process

Outside of Al Ain, UAE

It has been a long time since I've written anything...

Well, last year I had a really tough time emotionally (for various reasons) and wasn't even sure what to say anymore, so I had kind of given up commenting on my situation here in Dubai. I've also mostly given up talking about the American political situation, as it has gotten so depressing, insane and scary. Since I haven't been able to do much from here, it is just waiting and watching and trying to stay informed with real news. Mueller Report anyone?

Hopefully, once I am home, I can find some ways to take constructive action!

And that is my big news! After almost eight years, I am finally leaving the Middle East for good this time. July 4th (of all days) is my "Independence Day!" We are still going to be working, but it's the last day of school. And then I will be free! Funny enough, as excited as I am, I'm finding that as difficult as it was to come here, it is even more difficult to leave. When I came it was with a sense of excitement and embracing the unknown, now I am leaving with a big question as to what has been accomplished along with so many mixed emotions. Nevertheless, I have no regrets about making this move, as it really has been the adventure of a lifetime and I have met so many wonderful people along the way.

Also, there are camels. 

But it is definitely time to come home!

The problem for me is that at times it feels excruciating to let go of my life here. This proves to me again, if I ever had any doubts, that I would never have made it as a Bedouin. To have the ability to pack up and go, cyclically and predictably, without carrying a lot of baggage, no, I would have died.

                                                         From Thesiger's Journeys

Now that I am repatriating, there won't be the coming back and forth anymore and always feeling like I am living two separate lives. Although I have to say, going home brings on sensations of near panic that my days of travel are over, and it is true, I may never make it back to Nepal or Bali or even the South of France. Talk about the fear of missing out!

View from Kopan Monastery, Nepal 2015

                                                      Ubud, Bali in February 2018

La Roane in the South of France

It feels like I am giving up a lot, by leaving. Not to mention packing up my apartment. This has proved to be quite a challenge for me. Although I have been studying my Marie Kondo, the dilemma is that practically everything I have acquired since I came here "sparks joy" in me.  So it just doesn't seem to be working. I told myself I wouldn't acquire things, but I did. Now it's sorting, packing, giving away, selling, and slowly freeing myself to travel back. I could use some help, but it seems I'm really on my own in this. There is also an incredible amount of bureaucratic red tape (banking, shutting off the utilities, visa cancellations, etc.) to get through in order to exit this place, which I am not at all sure how to accomplish. Yes, I am doing a lot of whining too, just haven't been doing much of it out loud. A lot of my life here has been like that. Everything is a private joke with myself. Not a sustainable way to live, take it from me!

Packing Up Apartment 

The truth is, a lot of people living here complain of the sense of isolation and loneliness. I will not miss these feelings and I will be forever grateful for the connections I have been able to make, especially with the 5 rhythms tribe in Dubai and the women I met in Sports City. When I was wondering how I would survive, I found some real community. Thank God for that!

My job, I had to let it go. I did what I could and I hope I did some good. I know I grew, in spite of myself. I will miss the kids but I have high hopes for all of them. They are amazing and way more resilient and adaptable to change than I could ever hope to be.

At any rate, I am bringing home as little baggage as I can, but I know what comes with me will need to be dealt with...

I think I found him 
(but can I say I am a little scared?)

Going forward, you will find me here: 

at the Prior Patch, in Bradenton, Florida! 

Brand New Chapter - Chris and Skip - 2019

I just need to remember to breathe!  

Bye, bye Dubai! 

xoxo, Chris

Dancing in Dubai

Gabrielle Roth

 

 

Flowing, staccato, chaos, lyrical, stillness.  These are the 5rhythms of life according to the movement meditation developed by Gabrielle Roth.  She died two years ago today, just a few days before my father died. 

 

One of the best things that has happened to me since moving to the Middle East has been being reintroduced to this dance practice, which I totally took for granted when I was living in the U.S.A. (as I took so many things for granted!)  I feel a deep sense of regret that I never danced with Gabrielle in person, although it would not have been that difficult for me to do if I had realized the preciousness.  I used to drive up to Bethesda on Friday nights to dance with the tribe there, when I wasn't too tired from being with elementary students all week.  I wasn't that committed to it, although I loved it when I went. It was just one of the many things that I did. But once I moved to Abu Dhabi, I felt the urgency of finding a way to connect with people who had an instinct and interest for exploring their "inner landscape." Hence, it was quite a revelation to me when I found out they were dancing 5rhythms in Dubai.  Going there to dance with and get to know a group of dancers from far and wide has been a great healing balm for my tendency to live in my head over here and not move my body enough.  It has helped me process so many conflicting feelings that get stuck and don't want to move.  In some ways, I would say it has literally saved my life!

 

The rhythm is gonna get you!

 

So, not only did Gabrielle develop this amazing, life giving practice, she was an amazing writer too.  The quote that keeps sticking in my brain right now is a question she asked,  "Do you have the discipline to be a free spirit?" 

 

Confronted by my own lethargy and apparent lack of self-discipline lately, I am trying to remember the sense of freedom and possibility that accompanied my initial decision to move to Abu Dhabi and take a teaching position here.  In my own defense, I have had strange physical ailments that prevent me from feeling energized.  And the temperature has just started to go into the bearable range in the evenings with an almost imperceptible hint of coolness to it. But still, at least some of it is "in my head."

 

How fortunate I am to actually have the luxury of trying to create the rest of my life from here.  But so often if feels completely overwhelming to me! 

                  Chaos!   (Keith Harding)                      

 

I think I could just lighten up about the whole thing. The future is going to take care of itself, no matter how much I worry or don't worry about it.  And the whole point of this practice is to help us stay grounded in the present.  When I can do that I have a real sense that all is well and I don't have to keep telling myself that.

 

Besides, did I mention that the dancing is fun?  It's really fun as well as being a great work out!

 

There is another workshop coming up in December with Silvija Tomcyk and her husband, Thierry Francois.  They are an unstoppable team so it should be beyond compare.

 

In the meantime, I am immensely grateful to Lina Nahas and all the teachers I have met so far in Dubai.  It has made my time here in the UAE so much more pleassurable and has given me the connection and sense of belonging to something greater that I was craving.

 

Thank you!                                             



 

 

 Dubai is lyrical and dreamlike!